Surround Yourself with Those Who Contribute to Your Confidence
When you want to do anything in life, you need to make sure that your circle of friends and acquaintances are people who add to - rather than take away from - your confidence.
People who pick at or shred your confidence can hold you back from thinking you can do something as well as derail your efforts once you do get started. Sometimes it can be shocking to discover who is your worst enemy when it comes to tearing you down.
Why You Need Others to Contribute to Your Confidence
When you have confidence, you’re certain in your abilities to so something. It allows you to be able to reach your goals. When you don’t have people who can contribute to your confidence, it can lead to you not doing anything because you’re not sure that you can.
When you’re weak in the area of confidence, people who are stronger in that area lift you up. They give you a helping hand until your confidence is strong enough for you to stand.
When you don’t have others to help boost your confidence, it can cause you to not seek out opportunities to reach your goals. You may not have enough belief in yourself yet, but others will.
They’ll help to propel you forward and encourage you to take the chance. They’ll tell you that you can do it - that you will make it. When you lack confidence, this can lead to you devaluing yourself.
You won’t attempt to climb higher up the goal ladder because you’ll feel like you’re only worth the rung that you’re on. Others can debunk that for the myth that it is. They’ll help you to believe that you can succeed.
When you doubt yourself, they won’t let you stay there. When others contribute to your self-confidence, it can help to give you a fire and desire to move ahead that you didn’t have before.
Surrounding yourself with others who help you be confident will help you to get involved in ventures that are fair and good for you. It’ll help you learn to set boundaries. You’ll learn when it’s right to move forward and when it’s right to stand still.
Other people can boost your confidence to the point that you get past the false sense that you’re not as worthy as someone else is. You need that positive reinforcement because your inner critic is not always good at telling the truth.
Wanting to do something in life comes with a huge helping of fear. When you don’t have the confidence that you should have, that fear can make you so afraid to fail that you keep on wishing you could do something rather than stepping out and trying.
Other people can help you move forward in spite of the fear because they can help you learn how to overcome or live with the fear while you’re reaching your goals. It’ll help you to see that you’re not alone.
When you surround yourself with the right people, you’ll gain self-confidence because of their confidence in you. They’ll also help you step outside of your comfort zone - which is something that boosts confidence levels.
When you try something and succeed, it empowers you - but it’s often other people who give you the confidence to take that first step. Of course, the people that you are around can either help you or hurt your confidence and you need to know how to have the right people in your life.
Evaluating the People That You’re Around
You should start by taking stock of the people that you are around on a regular, possibly daily basis. You might have some people who are occasionally unsupportive and that can cause you to doubt your confidence.
If that’s the case - and it’s a one- or two-time thing - you might want to evaluate that a little more and figure out if a simple conversation with them or some sort of mental boost you do for yourself will work in those situations.
But other people could be ones who consistently erode your confidence. They’ll cause you to question yourself by asking you things that make you second guess a decision that you make - or they’ll point out all the things that are wrong with a step you’ve taken or a goal that you want to implement.
Sometimes people don’t realize that they’re eroding your confidence. They see it as trying to be helpful. But you don’t need that kind of help. What you can do is have a serious conversation with the people who are detracting from your confidence level.
You can tell them that you appreciate their concern, but that you need to be supported. If they give you excuses or defend themselves, then they’re not hearing your needs. Their focus is not what’s best for you.
You may end up having to limit your time with them. Obviously, if the person is someone who’s a family member, a significant other or a spouse, you don’t want to just walk away for good - unless that person makes it a habit of tearing you down.
They undermine your self-confidence and are always full of reasons why you can’t do something or they share stories of all the horrible things that are going to go wrong, making you second guess yourself.
They might tell you that you’re not qualified and that you’ll never make it. If you have someone like that in your life tearing away at your self-confidence, then you have to take action.
It doesn’t matter who the person is - you don’t deserve to have your confidence torn down - even if the other person says they mean well or that they’re doing it because they love you.
Love is supportive. Period. You need the people in your life to be kind toward your life decisions. Their support should be unconditional or at least thoughtful in how they approach you.
They should not be envious or act jealous when you seek to do something or when you achieve or strive for success. While it can be extremely difficult in some cases, thinking about avoiding people and cutting others out of your life, you have to do what’s best for your future.
A lack of confidence can hold you back. It can keep you from reaching your dreams and you need people who can help you keep on going when your confidence lags. But when you have people in your life who help build your confidence, it can make a huge difference.
Instead of worrying and second guessing yourself constantly, you’ll be filled with confidence and the determination to keep moving forward until every one of your goals is met.
Your Circle of People Has a Purpose in Your Life
It’s nice to be around others and spend time with people whose company you enjoy. When your circle consists of people who are good for you, it can make a huge difference in your level of success.
One purpose for the people in your circle is to uplift you and not keep you stuck. People who keep you stuck can prevent you from reaching goals. You want people who may not agree with your idea, but they believe in you.
That’s paramount to success. They’re rooting for you - regardless of whether they think what you’re about to do is crazy. They’ll help you with whatever you want help with and they won’t say negative things that could weigh you down.
The people in your life might offer some criticism, but this should be the kind that builds, which is constructive, rather than the kind that will tear you down. Constructive criticism helps you learn and grow.
It doesn’t paralyze you with self-doubt. Instead, it helps you. You’ll know if the criticism is constructive or not by what it addresses. If someone tells you that you need a better marketing plan, that’s different from someone who says you’re not going to make it because you stink at marketing.
Another purpose for the circle of people in your life is to have people who care about what you’re up to. They’ll be open to listening to you talk about what’s going on and they’ll offer feedback that’s designed to help you.
Your circle of people should be filled with those who are your biggest cheerleaders. They don’t necessarily have to be doing the same thing in life, but they understand what it is that you’re trying to accomplish - even if they don’t understand the field of work that you’re in or the big change that you want to make.
Your circle needs to be filled with people who will catch you on the way down. It’s inevitable that there are going to be some flops along the way. A supportive circle who helps build your confidence won’t say that they told you so.
They won’t let you waste time wallowing in self-pity, either. They’ll listen to you and then help you get back up and try again. They’ll tell you that one failure doesn’t mean your idea was bad and they’ll brainstorm what else you can do that might work.
When you’re feeling like you just don’t have the will to try again, they’ll help you see why you have to. They’ll be there for you when times get bad and they’ll be there for you when times are good helping to reinforce your confidence all the way.
You need to have a circle of friends who will gladly share whatever they know that can help you. Maybe they were successful in a different area, but they know some shortcuts that can help you achieve your goals faster.
They don’t want to hold you back. They don’t see you as competition. They simple give you a helping hand and support you on the journey. This is the kind of tribe you want to associate with.
The People You Should Befriend
You might find yourself on a journey and realize that the people that you used to hang out with just aren’t working for your best interests any more. When you want to achieve anything in life, there are going to be bumps along the way.
Reaching your goals is easier when you have people who help build your confidence. This can be a result of someone who adds positivity to your life. Whatever goal or goals you’d like to obtain, the people in your circle are going to influence you.
You’re going to pick up on their actions and thoughts. If those actions and thoughts aren’t beneficial, then it’ll hold you back. You want the people that you befriend to be influencers of good.
You want them to be the kind of people who help you make it, not anchors that weigh you down. Look for people who have drive. These are people who want something out of life.
They have plans that they’re going to stick to until they reach success. These kinds of people are always passionate - always determined to keep on going. They have a clear picture of what it is that they want and they work toward that faithfully.
You want these people in your life because of their drive. That “never quit” attitude can be contagious and on days when you feel less motivation, these kinds of people can give you a jolt and rekindle your own passion for whatever it is that you’re doing.
It’s good to befriend thinkers. They’re great at coming up with strategies, but you have to be careful that these thinkers aren’t people who spend time thinking about doing stuff but they never really get started.
You want to be around thinkers who put their plan in motion. These are people who will take the goals that they’ve written down and work to make them become a reality. The reason that you want to be around these types of people is because they’ll be able to contribute to your confidence because you’ll see them making inroads on their journey rather than just sticking in the planning stage.
You’ll want to befriend people who know how to correct mistakes when they get off track. You’re going to make a mistake at some point. It could be a little one, but it might be a big one.
This could lead to some problems as you move toward your goal. But if you have people who are fixers, they’ll know what you need to do to either go around the problem or come up with a new solution.
Knowing that a problem isn’t permanent and that there is a way out can help you hold on to your confidence. Like-minded people can help you because they know exactly what you’re going through.
When you have goals that are in line with what someone else is doing, you’ll have someone who understands what you’re thinking and feeling with whatever it is that you’re attempting.
This gives you someone that you can talk shop with, someone that you can brainstorm with, someone you can turn to for help and someone that makes you feel less alone on your journey.
You also want to befriend people who’ve been there and done that. They’ve already traveled the road that you’re on. This gives you a confidence boost because you can see that someone else made it.
These people should be ones that you can learn from. You want to do what they’ve done. They’ll have plenty of advice and can help you have the confidence to know that you can make it just like they did.
Everyone knows that some people make you the best version of yourself. This is who you want to befriend. You want people in your life that you can be yourself around. You know that you can go to them in good times and bad.
They’ll know where you’re coming from and will guide you toward success by giving you confidence and encouragement. Befriend people who aren’t afraid to be honest with you.
If you surround yourself with yes people who are afraid of hurting your feelings, you will never grow beyond the point that you’re at now. While it’s true you want to be loved and appreciated, you also want to know the truth.
Everyone has areas of their lives that can hinder growth. You can become immune to your faults that might be holding you down. You need people who aren’t afraid to speak truthfully and candidly.
Those who stroke your ego aren’t doing you any favors. Honest people will help you to identify areas that are hurting your chances of reaching your life goals successfully. You need to be with positive people.
Whenever you attempt something, you’re going to run into issues. Negative people will only point out the problems. They’ll tell you all that’s gone wrong, as if you didn’t know. But what will happen is that influx of negativity will keep you feeling down and erode your confidence.
You don’t need that. You need positive people who can see past the negative to the hope beyond it. They’ll be the ones that you can rely on to help keep you from throwing in the towel.