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Post-Divorce Dating

Post-Divorce Dating

There’s so much to be considered when you begin dating after a divorce. You may still be experiencing the five stages of grieving the lost relationship – denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.


It’s sometimes difficult to know when to move on and can trigger the absence of rationality in thoughts and behaviors. You could experience good or even great moments and also have relapses where anger reigns and you’re desperate for answers.


When you finally realize you’ve accepted the breakup and have hope for the future, it could be the time you’ll want to cautiously delve into the dating process – post divorce. When you have children, it’s very important to know the safest way to approach online dating.


For example, never, ever post photos of your children within your dating profile and forget introducing a new date until it becomes a serious relationship. The emotional and physical well-being of your children far outweighs your initial urge to introduce them to the new person in your life.


You may feel extremely vulnerable at the beginning stage of dating after a divorce. You may be unsure of the rules of dating since you were last in the game. Such questions as who pays for the date, what to wear and say are paramount to post divorce daters.


Although post-divorce dating can seem like you’re in a minefield, it can also be fresh and exciting. It’s a new world of online dating sites and matching profiles, and you need to learn how to maneuver correctly and safely in this new world.


Once you’re clear in your mind and know you’re ready to begin dating again, you may have to squelch the fear that’s nagging you and simply go for it. You may have dealt with a major betrayal or life changes, and it’s perfectly okay to wait awhile longer.


Be aware of your mindset during this time. You may keep repeating things to yourself that aren’t productive such as the thought that all men or women are jerks or already in a relationship.


Whether you mean it or not, the negative thinking can jeopardize your future dating happiness and douse the chances of finding true love. Your mind might also be telling you that there’s something wrong with you because of the failed relationship.


Now is the time to contemplate what you really want from dating at this stage of your life. It could simply be that you want companionship –someone to do things with outside the nucleus of your children and family.


This thought process will determine how you want to approach people. Avoid giving the wrong message to those you do decide to date. If you’re not yet ready for a long-term relationship, you don’t want to give that impression.


Rather than thinking about the post-dating process as a terrible chore that you have to go through, try thinking of it as an adventure. You’ll have the opportunity to socialize, meet people and perhaps learn something about yourself and others.


When you decide to try the online dating scene in your post-divorce world, don’t linger online thinking you’d like to get to know the person better before you meet. It’s best to quickly find out if the relationship is worth pursuing.


If you’re afraid the person might turn out to be a stalker or catfish (even if there’s no reason to think that), be sure to tell a friend or family member when and where your meeting will take place and when you think you’ll be home.


Initially meeting in a public venue is the best idea and can calm a lot of fears. Nothing lost but a bit of time if there is no chemistry or reason to pursue the relationship. And you might learn something about yourself and your own wants and desires.


It’s normal in the post-divorce dating process to compare dating partners in terms of personality, intelligence and looks. It’s perfectly fine to date several guys or women at the same time before you decide what you like and don’t like and what’s most important to you.


Having a support system is of the ultimate importance when post-divorce dating. If you’ve been away from the dating scene for quite a while and are recovering from a traumatic breakup to boot, you’ll need a support system to keep you grounded.


That same support system can also provide feedback to you about the person or persons you’re choosing to date. Listen to them carefully. They may have valuable insight that you hadn’t thought of before.


They’ll also help to keep you inspired and motivated to date the right people. Your support system can be a group of friends, handful of family members or extended friendships. They’re all valuable and useful.


If you don’t happen to have a set group of people who can provide feedback and give you inspirational and motivational advice, consider procuring the services of a counselor or other professional who can help you continue on a health mental path as you’re achieving goals.


Post-divorce dating sites can be found online and you’ll find lots of help and advice from others who have been down the same road. Keep a positive outlook and attitude and have fun.

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